Dear Concerned Facebook Friend

You have written to me
warning of guaranteed hell fire
should I insist on ‘vagina related stuff’.
you have requested silence on the subject
feigned shame at the mention of vagina
and pushed for the abrupt end of such sickly thoughts.

Vagina is no stuff!
I know because I own one.
traveling south, not so far from my navel
spreads a black manicured lawn
that runs down at the edge of two perfect valleys
introducing a pink vagina that turns purple when heated
warm and moist like a fresh sponge cake.

There was once a hymen
lost in the great battle of 2006
in a dark shack in some Ugandan Village
I do not miss the little thin membrane of tissue that surrounds and narrows the vaginal opening!

Stay with me now
and listen to the tales of my bean
planted not so deep inside my dark cave
between my thighs.
My clitoris – well tendered- by a thrusting penis
has taken me to heights untold
taken me to roads untraveled
I have lost my clitoris to heaven.

My vagina connects the uterus to the outside world
to those one eyed, snake tailed vermins
delivered in tremendous speed
determined to make bloat with pregnancy
and unnecessary proteins.

This shameful ‘stuff’ you forbid me to talk of
bleeds every month for seven days
I cannot walk, eat, sleep
for seven days because of the demon between my thighs
you are right.

But wait
spread fine on some hospital bed
legs, corner to corner
My vagina will bloom like a flower
wide like your local area culvert
strange hands will venture in and about-freely
and I will push out a four kilogram baby and curse you out
for attempting to label ‘taboo’ my passage of life
I dare you to make a baby without my vagina.

I pity your vagina,
I picture the sad organ.
it is a polluted lake
dead and smelly with overweight toads hopping about
with masks on their nostrils.
it is marked with rough edges
and tendered by a slave caretaker-if ever,
who must be sadder than Wajir bound teachers
Am sure he gets in and out of that life forsaken pit
faster than gone in sixty seconds.

Am sure you creep around town in fright
wondering who knows whether you have a vagina
praying that no one discovers the sin you carry
ready to ask for forgiveness for owning such a disgraceful, hell bound organ!
you are a disgrace to womanhood
pluck it out and feed it to the nearest dogs
you deserve no vagina!

I will write about the life between my thighs
to the highest mountain I will shout of my wonder
and if you do not hear
in case you miss my praises
I will look for you
lose my underwear
lay on my back and spread wide
you will be a witness
of the sights and sounds
of my vagina.

Signed Waruguru Wa Kiai
Vagina Holder.



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