James Munyeria Photo 2

Marriage? Yes – No- Maybe- I don’t Know!

I must admit, Watching My Friend take to the aisle over weekend, got to me. I was struck momentarily by the whole flowery experience and for single second I entertained the thought of walking down the while all dressed in white, breathtakingly beautiful with a slight Aura of Virgin and Purity-Yes all brides have that scent, freak or not!

I too floated down the aisle smiling, battling with black tears, My mother by my side calling on Jesus for saving Her daughter from an eternal lack of ownership and for saving my clan’s face from shame and ridicule associated by having husband less Females!

Glancing at the pews as I floated off to the vague being standing at the end of the Aisle, I saw them. All of them.

My First love. He said He loved me. He took My heart with him. He also took the membrane that surrounds or partially covers my external vagina opening. He also took several other Membranes. He Left Me. He came back, I had never left, took the remaining Membrane,Left again. He says He Loves Me…

There He was, Handsome Allan. I looked good on his arm,end of story.

I saw him too, the guy who promised to love me forever as long as He was god. He would take care of me forever. There was no need for me to complete my university Education, what for? all I had to do was mint babies and stay fly. Boy, I hustle for my own!

He was Present too, the pastor preacher boy. He told me that god had shown him me. That I was his spiritual wife. He told me to love him, take care of him, clothe him, feed him, pay for his loaned car…are you high? I will not take care of a grown ass man.

The flashy Bastard, with his annoying smile and expensive Phone. This nigger thought if He kept flashing his money, His car, His Flat screen Television, I was going to kiss His feet. I was going to lay myself on his bed and let Him Sweat on top of me. I handled him well though. I Played ping pong with his Heart and Wallet. I have been to Tafaria Castles and almost all other expensive joints thanks to Him. When It came down to the wire, I got classic on Him, I said “When are you coming home to see my parents, I would like to get married before the end of the year” He literally run away from Me.  Listen Honey, I do not have a car, My Phone is the definition of ‘Analogue’ but one day I will drive and own all sorts of Stuff. My Stuff. With My Name on it.

Oh! look who came, My Rasta guy with his Repatriation Bag, still blaming Babylon and the ‘system’ for his woes. He told Me He Owns all the Land as far as my eyes could see, You should have seen me cook up investment plans for ‘all the land He Owned’ . When the weed finally cleared from his head, He had the nerve to explain to me that all the lands He owned were held in trust by Haile Selassie and that one day He Would return to burn all Heathens defiling the land! Don’t Judge me, We all have that one guy who makes us wonder, what Was I thinking? But in my defense He had the most gentle touch and kiss, yea Man!

My men never exceed the count of Ten,am A christian woman! Although there was this guy… He writes…He Teaches too… Cutest Smile…never mind.

At the end of my mental Aisle I stop to look at Him. My Bridegroom Whose face I cannot make out. He has a veil on, why does He have a veil on? and where Is my veil? Karma-Its Karma- that trifling Heifer trying to mess with my head!

“You may now unveil your groom”

I take a step forward. I take in a deep breath. I unveil him. Its Him. The man of My Dreams. He Lives In real Life.
I have loved Him Since back then. I love Him Now. More than ever. I love everything about Him. It’s the way He says My Name. It’s how He always walks a step ahead of me, like my future. It’s the way He walks me home, standing at the gate until I get to My House – Its mine, the rent Receipt has my Name on It,ara!. There is a but…

But, am still waiting for Him to grow up. To step up like I know He Can. Am still waiting for him to see Me for Who I really am- The love of His life. No! am not stepping to claim him, My Mother Taught me better, I like being Prey in all matters Love. Yes Ladies, we all have that one guy who we could give our all, if only He asked nicely.

Ululations and ‘wapi nduru jingles’ end my mental Journey. Silvia is indeed a beautiful Bride, Munyiri is one lucky Guy, so is Him, the man of my dreams, If He ever realizes it, Before its too late, Before I surrender to the “all men are dogs” club. Young Man hurry while Stock Lasts.

James Munyeria Photography



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