Waruguru Kiai

Morris is a Hero, Let us surrender!

Straight to the point

Consent in matters sex in our African Society is rarely contemplated. We are yet to fathom the idea that a woman may actually have an opinion on how and when she wants her vagina handled. We have been taught that our vaginas must be validated – marked with a stamp of approval – as ready for use, or re- use by parents, religion, culture. There must be consent, but not from the vagina holder. That is why old women are now returning to the village to marry themselves, to sort of say ‘ look, we went and had sex and babies without your consent kindly take these gifts and accept us back into the fold’ for that is the only way, their certificates of approval will ever be renewed. Oh, and the girl who now has to forget herself and all ‘earthly wishes’ because she bumped into a penis and caught pregnancy without walking down the aisle, she will spend the rest of her life feeling ashamed – dirty – inadequate – sinner – evil, all those words that describe a young girl raising a child alone, tufia! She can never raise her head above the rest, she can never allow the confidence in her heart to blossom, how dare she, a sinner! And so she waits for a lifetime for Grace to finally decide on whether or not to rest on her head, meanwhile, the sperm donor is forgiven for He did not know what He was doing. At this point, I could use a glass of something cold, something second generation ….

Women have never been in full control of their sexual health, we have been taught and configured that our vaginas and uteruses are only meant to serve under the pleasure of the kings – our fathers and uncles under a tree when they sell us to our new king, onother man- to our fathers and uncles. We love it when young men travel from far and wide to come and haggle over us, learned or not, we know it is the only way we are allowed to spread our legs, and make good use of our uterus, and hopefully call upon our ancestors – either in genuine ecstasy or a desperate cry for help guised in a moan – at night, there can be no other way! Under no circumstance can you respond to the sensation in your swollen breasts!

That is why, that young man who is now your husband had to be fined for making you pregnant before He sought approval from the elders, not from you the apparent vagina holder – the elders – somebody else, – with a guide on how to manage your body – a guide that you did not help craft- a guide that you were never consulted about or your approval sought. That is why when we fight with our husbands when they bless us with several strains of sexually transmitted diseases, we rush back to their father’s village; gather the clan under a tree and cry and beg them to invoke their self made ‘guide book’ amidst our sobs plead with them to warn their sons against poking their penis in every object with a hole, and more often it is ruled, that we return to our hotbeds of marital bliss and try and make it work, and when we die from physical and emotional trauma, there will be a gathering in the village that will unanimously blame the devil for our unfortunate demise- the gathering will mourn for a minute and then proceed to fight over rice and cabbage in the other minute, come on, you know am right, you know you have buried such a friend, you know it’s happening to you now…kweli – rongo?

From the clip, it is clear that consent is an unfamiliar term to Morris – He even pauses to rest – probably still inside her – then he charges again and proceeds against the clear wishes of the woman. That is what Morris and many of his kind know, and that according to the Gospel according to Saint Morris and many other Morris believers and followers will never be rape! That is a man – eating his things- doing what he is supposed to do with his thing – She was there to be fucked, and He was doing just that! Any pleas like ‘Morris Nimechoka’ Morris aki Nimesurrenda’ could not – should not – must not be construed to mean that He had to stop, that it was enough, that she wanted out, that she did not agree … There can be no discussion on what the girl wants, what she needs, how she feels…why, when she has a hole, kwani what is the use of the hole?

We all sing along to ‘nitakindandia tu kama matatu’ that phrases summarizes the story that is our – most – bedroom affairs. He climbs, He pumps, He twitches his eyes and growls like a pig, He comes and proceeds to pat his balls before proceeding to near death sleep, No questions asked!. Ah no, don’t shoot me now. Never – okay almost never – is her consent and critical input sought. How many women listened to her and thought to themselves – this woman is living my life- come on girl, you know he does that to you daily, you know before he pays for his children’s fees her must ‘Morris you the whole night’ despite of your resistance, girl, or when sick or tired …did he not tell you that he paid for you, to do with you as he pleases?

Don’t tell me that you are much better because you are liberated from the jaws of culture and its ‘backward thinking’ when you clearly typed on twitter just how horny you were after listening to ‘Morris the great’ do His thing. It is you and your kind that rape women and defile children for your own twisted gain. It is who pays to have sex with small children who drop out of school because of poverty. Your twisted penis is guilty of defiling small children in the village, you are no better. It is you and you kind on Google searching for images of ‘big dicks murders teenage whore’. That is why parents die daily at the thoughts of leaving their children and house helps close to you. You are sick and not even Red Range Rover Bishop can help you.

However, things have changed, more and more women are not defying all odds and standing up for themselves, they are saying ‘NO’ and not in whispers. They are taking control of their sexual health, even responding to that funny tingly sensation between their thighs without having husbands…wololo yaye chei! Women are choosing when to get married, whom to get married to, when to have babies…in a nutshell more and more women are saying ‘ this is my body, I get to decide what happens to it and yeah that also applies to the three B’S – brain breast and bean- In my village, there is now an agreed upon calendar of events, there are rallying calls to increase bed capacity in all hospital to cope with the impending invasion of pregnant women as a result of Ohuru’s declaration to get rid of all ‘Fobe’. It is almost laughable – you must not LOL lest the gods strike you- the thought that the declining population in my village was caused entirely by the prevalence of illicit brews which in turn rendered the ‘male engines’ useless, while this may be true on the face of it, It is surprising that none of these narratives have considered that may be the women in my village do not want to sleep with the men in my village, that they do not want to sire children with the men in my village, that they have a different program of events that does not necessarily include family and children in the near future . It is almost automatic now that women have no choice now but to sire more children now that their men and their china refurbished engines are back, nie reke gwire…

Now you have a bunch of men forced to actually have ‘the talk’ with their women. They have to listen to their women and what their women want, they have to family plan and use protection, and get this they have to return their erect visitors back to sender if the women are not interested in receiving the said delegation. This then births Men like Morris – Half Men – Weak Men- Who cannot listen to their women, Men like Morris whose only display of Might is through brutal force, Men like Morris who have to record themselves to prove their worth, Men like Morris whose Erect dicks is the only definition they have of Manhood, Men like Morris who lowly regard themselves so much as to bring women down with them.

We laughed, and made fun of the issue on twitter and Facebook because We are weak –Weak Men, with no regard for women, Weak men who cannot take no for an answer– Perverts who cannot face women without humiliating them or dealing with them using force, Weak Men – Kings of Red tube and a tired left hand, the very same kind that strips women in public, the very same breed that shares pictures of a high school student private parts and easily miss the bigger picture, brothers with married bands on their fingers who poke their hands on some woman’s private in a matatus, the very same kind that defiles their children and sodomizes boys, the same ones who beat and kill women, the ones who cheered Morris ‘you fuck her until she removes fire or smoke – whichever comes first, consent ni ya mama yao’  We laughed and made Memes because He did what some of us have always wanted to do or wish to do, He lived our little twisted fantasies…He stepped up and taught her a lesson, showed Her who the man was, we nodded when she surrended and concluded ‘na iwe funzo kwake na wengine’… Morris the great took one for the team and for that,Morris the great is our Hero, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay, apigio makofi ya kilo!

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  1. Joshua

    Men should read this. The media should tell kenya that women from our village are learned. These days they own kenya but men are just lost in booze, self praise and guided by their jostos.

  2. Darius

    You left out the many women who joined in the laughter and satire. Mind you the first two people to go ballistic about this were men. Marcus Olang and Dennis Ominde. I like this perspective I only feel you fell for the weak men/strong women, men laughing/women crying demarcation that really don’t hold.
    There are many men disgusted by this as there are a lot of women humored by it.

  3. Tony

    That was rape right there- probably the first Orgy for all Kenyans On-Line. Imagine if the lady she was your sister, mum or even that your Ex you hate. I swear i could kill Morris nkikutana na yeye.

    • Waruguru Wa Kiai

      If we do not call it for what it is, we condone such violence, we entertain it, we say ‘it is okay’ one day it will become our way of life and when that day comes….lord help us all, nobody will be safe!


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