Waruguru Wa Kiai

Praise Gaaaaawwwwwwdah! #pastors_of_impunity

If they do not take me back, if they refuse
To give me a chance to kiss the feet of the Mugumo
Or raise my hands towards the mountain Of God – Kirinyaga
I will set my breasts loose, to reign havoc this side and that side
I will hover like a mad woman
And threaten to urinate on their heads while standing
Yes! One leg up, I will splash the earth with my warm light yellow salts
Pollute the air with puffs from last night’s Githeri
And shame them with the sight of my private forest
There will be no peace, until I return.

I have had it with these satin wearing, hair cooking men
these ‘panda mbegu’ addicts
these ‘pata potea’ cons
these hourly shoe changing fashion models and their crazy horse hair
Who come in the name of the white Man’s god.
These rogue shepherds who steal from their flock in broad daylight
And nibble on other men’s women like Man Ras and his groundnuts.
I have had it with these false prophets and their rehearsed miracles
Their concocted testimonies and fake promises of better!
These lovers of dark Saturday nights, spent in some shady bar and rest
extracting virgin oils from some poor choir girl, or a married woman eager for
Anointed pregnancy
These dark souls with red eyes dipped in pots of several second generation drinks
These census officers with permanent residency in Sabina Joy
With self granted thigh inspection certificates in all roads with the letter ‘K’
These beasts whose wives and husbands have never known peace
Forced to live a daily lie in the name of the father
These killers!
I have had it!

No, the lord will not strike me dead for touching his anointed
You demons are not His anointed!
Thus before He perfects the thunder that will strike you
Before Angel Gabriel returns from Military camp with a set of six pack
From years of doing press ups in your honour
Before Peter submits his Auditor general report to expose all your scheming ways
Before, the trumpet is blown and all your sins are aired in big Samsung digital television sets
To the shock and horror of all,
I choose to leave.
I am going back to the gods of my forefathers
I am going back to my Ngai
He who blessed our ancestors with children without fondling their breasts
He who showered us with rain without charging a penny
He who blessed our men without using ‘Fresh Fry’ anointing oil
He who lived traveled on a humble cloud without forcing my grandparents to fundraising slave mines
all for a convoy of Range Rovers
He who was satisfied in living on the Mountain, Never did He extort the poor to live in a mansion
It is on His arms that I am going back to, as I wait at a distance
For thunder to strike you wolves down, ngoma ici!

If the elders refuse me access, to rest at the foot of the Mugumo
I will run to my balcony, strip naked and wait for the sun rays
To strike the mountain of Ngai, it is then I will cry
While beating my chest,
Woi Ngai wa Kirinyaga, Kia Njahi,
Ngai wa muraburuko wa Nyandarua
Njohera Mehia Makwa
Ni wihia wakwa
Ni wihia wakwa
Ni wihia wakwa
Munene Ma!

For He has never left, I know He will take me back
Away from these #pastors of Impunity!

*Gikuyu to English Translation*

God of Kirinyaga, God of Nyandarua Ranges
Forgive me for I have sinned
It is my wrong doing
It is my wrong doing
It is my great Wrong Doing!



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  1. Joshua

    You marvel me. You are such a brave witted girl. You have forced to be ardent follower of your posts. Keep going. It is the truth.

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