Waruguru wa kiai

#vuteni stool #mtree #nunu #madness

Cursed are these women who rouse my breasts at night
And ruffle my thighs at dawn, Curse them all and their selfish tales that
always leave me hot and bothered.
Curse these women who are always pinned to the wall
These women who are always chained to a bedpost
These women who never take showers alone
These women whose mornings are always wet from daily drills
Curse these women whose seats now squeak from hours of gorilla warfare
These women whose glass tables are always clouded with streams of dead children
These women who have since evicted birds from their backyard – they traumatized birds could not condone the hungry scenes played against a depressed tree
These women whose sinks now wish to drown- the sinks were meant to carry the weight of cups and bots and not grinding buttocks, every Saturday morning.
Curse these women who refuse to keep their escapades to themselves
These women who type ‘momo’ paragraphs explaining word for word
How they are always hoisted on some penis!
Curse these women and their orgasmic tales
That have me spreading my legs wide open next to the window
In desperate attempts to cool off my now rebellious vagina
Determined on punishing me for shutting her down with layers of cobwebs
And denying her a constant ‘guest of honour’ to take her to heaven and back.
For how long will I take cold midnight showers
For how long will I have to recite the bible to fight temptations
For how long will I wear my mother’s union panties and pretend to be a Christian woman
For how long will I suffer in your hands oh woman from social media
for how long will I drink Guarana to calm my racing blood
For long will I resist the urge to waylay some poor soul to practice
What you preach?
For how long do you want me to wear these panty liners you always invite me to wear
As your explain your pleasure, now my daily torture
For how long will I have to ‘vuta stool’ and listen to you praise the efforts of your ‘mtree’ holder?
Of how your thighs were set on fire, till you billowed smoke after he was gone igniting your engine
and how you caught pregnancy at the eighth round, tell me for how long will you kill us with envy – have some women not fasted for a man who can pump for half a minute?

Woman from Facebook, pray that I do not acquire my very own penis holder
Ha! You will pay for all your sins for I will sing about him long after the cows come home.
You will be the first to know when he kisses me
When he licks my neck, I will whisper in your ear all the sweet nothings he will tell me
You will be there when he spanks my rear and commands me to call him daddy
when he curves my breasts with his hands
When his tongue travels south – way south
You will not miss my mourn when He stuffs his ‘mtree’ inside me
Neither will I forget to count every flip – every turn- every twist.
By the time I am done, you will know for how long I curled my toes
After a grandmother calling orgasmic finale, woman from facebook god will punish you!

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